Finally got that smiley face that I have been so diligently pining for. I feel relieved but also nervous about the prospect of another failed cycle. While this process has become quite routine, I feel the stakes are higher for this one. The last one. The closing of a chapter...for now anyway.
We will go have our 6th IUI done tomorrow morning and then I will start the progesterone in a few days. Then, as always, we wait. At the end of the wait, we will be headed to Europe on vacation. This much needed getaway also brings mixed feelings. Being out of the country means no visits to see the doctor, no ultrasounds, no meds, and no enhanced opportunity of conceiving. Basically, a month off.
A month off is a dangerous thing in my book. If the wheel is already spinning, causing it to stop might leave us stranded. I have felt for quite some time that chasing the dream of having a child is something of an ascendance. When you fail to continue climbing, you might lose the opportunity of a lifetime. I am going to try my hardest to equate the month off with setting up camp on the mountain. As soon as we are able we will start climbing again, never having lost our footing.
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Of course, I need to get focused and think about what tomorrow holds. I am going to really hope that this IUI holds something special for us, and that rather than climbing the mountain we will be taking the elevator - all the way to the summit.
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