Is it ironic that just when I feel like we are making a slight bit of progress, somehow the floor buckles underneath me? I want to balance the joyous moments out with more happiness, not more sadness. I can't seem to master the balance.
We finally were able to nail down the insurance situation. Thanks to a very informative staff member at my dr's office, we learned of a detail/loophole related to the added infertility coverage that has enabled us to officially receive coverage. The insurance was telling us that we would have to show proof of 5 (yes, freakin' 5) years of treatment for infertility. Given that we have been fortunate enough to not have been in treatment for that long, proof was not a possibility. I was thinking that things were a lost cause until the billing coordinator at my RE's office told us that my endo diagnosis should justify coverage. We checked with our clueless insurance rep and sure enough, the endo does qualify us. So, we will be covered beginning June 1st and then we are going to hit the ground running (well, sprinting actually).
My sister told me tonight that she is pregnant again. While I would love to be doing back flips for her, my excitement was less than mediocre. I already have one adorable nephew from her and he is hands down the best thing ever. My sister knows all about our issues and what we are going through and so she was apologizing before she even broke the news. She wanted to give me prior notice before telling the parents on Saturday when we will be celebrating Mother's Day. While I wanted to be so happy for her, I just had such a hard time getting it out. I got off the phone with her, went upstairs, sat myself on the bathroom floor and had quite a crying spell.
My sweet, caring husband came in and sat on the bathroom floor with me. He just stayed there with me and helped me through the moment. Just looking at him, my pain reflected in his face, makes me fully understand why I love him so much. The one good thing (and probably the only good thing) that has surfaced in all of this is my realization for how much I love that man. My desire to create a living, breathing symbol of 'us' is insatiable, and that makes the ache in my heart so much greater.
3 comments:
I'm really glad your insurance situation is working out! I'm sorry that your sister's news caused so much pain. Sometimes it's hard to hear, no matter who says it.
So glad about the insurance win! That's fantastic.
I'm sorry you had to hear that your sister is pregnant...again. It feels like the world should get in line - with each of us at the front. No new pregnancies until all we IF'ers are there!
IF is a rollercoaster ride after all. One moment you're down, the next you're up, and then you're even taken for a loop. Hold on. I hope we all get off this roller coaster soon.