I am living in this moment. The moment where I can breathe deeply and say that I am pregnant.
I did my hcg test yesterday morning and then waited for the results. The waiting was difficult, but I knew that I would get some kind of number. What I haven't been able to reveal this past week is that I have been getting positive tests at home since Monday (4 dpt). It was tearing me up to not be able to share that on my blog, but there are a couple of family members and friends that read this and I wanted them to hear the news directly before reading it on here.
The home tests started out very faint, and kept getting darker. In between the menagerie of tests, I was having some cramping and bloating with a touch of nausea. I was sure it was all in my head. On Friday I got to see that coveted word 'pregnant' on a digital test. My husband and I have been cautiously excited but were reluctant to believe anything (10 positive tests could be wrong) until we got the numbers from the blood draw.
And that brings us back to Saturday. I got a call from my doctor's office, with a "Congratulations! You are pregnant!" greeting. The nurse covered a lot of information, but left out the numbers (I sometimes think that the clinical staff believe they are dealing with a group of infertility illiterates, but they should know better). I then asked for the numbers:
hcg 218
progesterone 34
There it was. Real proof that I can get pregnant, that we can create a baby. To say that we are overjoyed is an understatement. But (and it is a big but at that) we know what a fragile gift we have been bestowed. It can crack or break at any given time and so for now we are living moment to moment.
I was originally told to go back in for another beta on Friday (11/23) but I have already spoken to a nurse today about going in sooner to see if the numbers are rising like they should. So I will most likely go in Tuesday morning and then again on Friday. After that, I don't know what to expect.
Here we are in this wonderful, beautiful moment. Nothing can rob us of this particular point in time, but we can't be too sure what the future holds either. With every bit of emotional and physical strength that I have, I want this. With each breath, with each moment, I will hope that these babies stay. Please, please stay.
31 comments:
OHHHHHHHHHHHH YAH YEAH YAH YAH YHA YAH YAH YAH ... COURTNEY !!!!!!!!!!! Super fantastic!!!!!!!!!!
Ack! I knew you not writing meant it was positive, I knew it I knew it I knew it! YAYYYYYYYYY! Congratulations - really:-) You sooo deserve to be in this place.
Hi Moxie, came over from Kate... I know it's early days still but... congratulations! I have just had my first IVF with a low beta, which ultimately went right down to 0.
It is great to see someone in the same boat that has crossed over to the other side! Well done!
omigod omigod omigod!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
doing a happy dance,
-lori
I have been anxiously awaiting and I just let out a big YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS for you!!!!!
So happy for you, and SO happy that FET's CAN work!=)
Oh happy day!=)=)
I'm so utterly thrilled for you! Happy dance! Happy dance! Stick little bean! Stick!
WOO HOO!! That is wonderful Courtney!!!!!
Yay!! Congrats! So so excited for you!
Words cannot express how happy I am for you!!! I hope your moment lasts 9 wonderful months!
Huge Congrats sweetie!!! Thinking great doubling vibes.
This is a sweet moment, and I am so glad you can finally live it. One foot in front of the other will get you all the way to the end the same way that jumping ahead will, so do whatever you need to be able to relish this time. I am so very happy for you. Tears of joy and relief are all I have for you.
Congratulations! I am so happy for you! Great numbers too!! :)
Wooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo!
Congrats to you and the mr.
Congrats, Hoping you have a very uneventful 8 more months!!
This is such great news. I couldn't be any happier for such a great couple. I think all the positive thoughts and energy are working. You're in my thoughts.
What a great moment you are in right now, enjoy every second and keep us all posted with how you are feeling....congrats ;)
Wow, Courtney, you made my day! What great news. And such a good #! You must be out of your minds! What a fab thing to learn as you head into the holidays. Can't wait for tomorrow's results!
Oh honey, that is a great beta! It really is amazing when you FINALLY get to the moment where you actually have a baby inside after going so long thinking it might never happen. Just wait until he/she's on the outside..that's really a weird feeling.
YAYYYYYYYYY! Congratulations, Courtney! This is awesome news - simply fantastic! XOXO
YAH!!! Congrats!
Congratulations on the awesome test scores! :)
Yay! That's wonderful! Congratulations and good luck with the beta tomorrow.
Congrats, congrats!!!!! YAYQAYAYAYAYAY!!!!! So very happy for you! Little embies, you better stay put!!!
Congrats!! Can't wait to see that next Beta!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited for you. GREAT NUMBERS!!!!!!!!
Please stay baby!!!!!!!!!! you will have a great mom.
CONGRATULATIONS
Oh Courtney -- I've been meaning to add Baby Moxie to my blog list forever now...and now it'll be added to my new category -- success stories!
I'm so, so happy for you -- and I've felt such kindness and strength from your supportive readership. Thank you.
Yea! yea! yea!
Pam
Very cool! Congratulations!
Hoping for staying power for you. congrats!
CONGRATS!!!!!!!
Got sent over by Fertilize Me.. congrats lady and welcome to the Summer '08 club!!!
YAY! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you guys!