The frivolity of two little lines. What leaves me longing for those two little lines? What possibilities does life hold with those two little lines?
Over the past three days I have gotten two little lines - one an obvious evap, and the other two (different type test) were questionable. Those two little lines are the ones that are the 'if I stare hard enough they will become beautiful and dark' lines. This morning with a more reputable brand...stark white. With the conclusion of one more test tomorrow morning I will consider this cycle a bust...yet another bust.
I have been exercising my brain to prepare for this all to familiar outcome. Not allowing myself to get upset is the path I have chosen for now. I have a nice long vacation ahead of me soon and I will enjoy it to its fullest. A distraction? Perhaps. However, I am going to let myself indulge in this small pleasure of a 'break', and then come back ready to start the battle that is injectables.
So I guess for now the only two lines that I have seen are the evaporated kind. In some way, that sits okay with me. In a far reaching corner of my deranged mind, the thought of an evap is visual proof that my body isn't quite there yet but is warming up to the idea of pregnancy. I know, I know...a little crazy, but whatever gets me by.
6 comments:
It's not crazy! I sometimes visualize those two lines in my mind. Positive thoughts are good. :-) I'm just scared I might hallucinate on too much hope.
I'm so sorry.
I'm glad to know you are going to enjoy your vacation despite the end of this cycle. I mean really, according to the oblivious, all you need to do is "take a vacation" to get knocked up. Who needs injectables when you've got a passport? :)
There are lots of things about injectables that increase your chances beyond clomid. I really hope a break and a new plan are all you need.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I wish that second little line had gotten nice and dark :(
Breaks are good - getting your head out of TTC-world for a while is a good way to remember all the other good things you have in your life. Where are you planning on going?
Thank you all for the kind words. It really does help me to know that no matter what happens, people are there to support you.
Sharah - we are headed to Europe for the first time and we are thoroughly excited!
I'm sorry. I was hoping it was still early for you to test. And maybe those two lines could still emerge. The craziness of staring down that POAS. Enjoy your European vacation. You deserve it.
Oh, exciting! Have fun, and drink lots of good wine :)