what to write. There isn't a whole lot to write about in regards to our conception efforts. I will probably be ovulating in another week, so right now it is simply a matter of making sure that we time things right and that we don't deplete the reserves when it counts the most. Exciting stuff.
I went to a baby shower on Saturday and it was h-a-r-d. I was en route to the shower and fought back tears a few times. What I realized is that I didn't even have to think about all the different meanings behind a baby shower to get upset. I think that epiphany alone is frightening. Apparently, these days my emotions go on autopilot when something is related to anything 'baby'. At one point during my drive I actually thought maybe I should turn around and go home. But then again, how do I explain that to those at the party when I said I would be present?
I honestly have been doing okay in the past few weeks - almost approaching things with renewed hope. My reaction to the baby shower is evidence that I can still get caught up in the potholes on this road. I'm trying really hard to not let this get the best of me. I refuse to completely lose myself to this battle. I can only hope that I am able to salvage myself and retain the person that I was before infertility. Actually I am hoping to be a much stronger person at the end of all this and one that can fully appreciate all of the meaning behind the word 'mother'.
4 comments:
Hey I read this book and it really helped me figure out how to keep myself sane when other people get pregnant and have baby showers and stuff.
http://www.amazon.com/Conquering-Infertility-Domars-Enhancing-Fertility/dp/0142002011/ref=pd_bbs_sr_6/105-7429978-9315652?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1180933534&sr=8-6
hope it helps. some people say it's a little too religious for them, but I don't know what they're talking about.
take care
GG
I think we will all come out of this much stronger! I have a hard time with baby showers, no matter what.
Baby showers can be so heartbreaking. I stopped going to them last year and just send gifts/flowers instead. It is hard and I can't see how the pain we feel will not make us stronger in some way.
Geez, I commend you for even having the courage to go to a shower. I haven't been to one in over a year. They just got too painful for me, so I can relate to your thoughts on it.
After a certain amount of time with this struggle, our hope fuel can run on low. But you are almost to refueling. You are almost to a new plan, one that holds the most hope for most of us...
Hang on. You are doing all you can until then.