Welcome, welcome...step right up! You have landed in Cynicalville. While it is a bit crowded, we can always squeeze in a few more. The weather's bad, the food is crappy, and there surely are no picket fences.
Down in the dumps is where I am at this very moment (just in case you couldn't tell). The mounting tension of our first IVF cycle can be felt and the 'what if' game has started. By nature I am not a huge risk taker. This upcoming scientific experiment (if you will) is the biggest risk I have ever taken. The stakes are high and I can't even fathom the let down if things don't end up with a positive result.
We are going to an orientation on Wednesday to better inform ourselves of the process and while I am really wanting someone to make me feel incredibly excited about our chances, here I am - stuck in Cynicalville. Maybe I will be unexpectedly surprised, but nah, doubt it.
Pondering over what happens if IVF does not prove to be our solution is a daily occurrence. Do we move into a downtown loft and become an uber-career focused couple? Do we buy convertibles or mopeds for our commute to our high powered jobs (no car seats needed there)? What exactly will we do?
Please excuse my momentary purging of negativity. I am sure it will pass as it always does. Frankly, I am just scared of the possibility of things not working. It might just be enough to push me over the edge and have me on the first bus to Deeply Depressedville.
7 comments:
George F. Will said
"The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised." This was the quote I received today via bloglines .. thought Id pass it on. I think it's the blanket Infertile Mantra/Motto
I am so sorry that you ar efeeling down in the dumps. I will be thinking about you and hoping for a really great outcome for you.
I, too had a back up plan to get that downtown loft and Vespa. :) And I hope you really will feel positive after the IVF orientation. The statistics are so much better than the ones you have been hearing. That helps a lot, I think.
Let me know how it goes...
No advice here, just hoping it all goes well for you.
I kept trying to convince Jason that we'd have to sell the house and become super-cool downtown residents.
I agree with Lindsey - I was incredibly encouraged after the IVF orientation thing. In fact, I thought of going again as a pep talk. Sad, huh?
hoping that you will be unexpectedly surprised and take the firts bus to happyville!
Honey, I've been thinking about what to do with my life if this doesn't work since my first clomid pill. There is nothing wrong with that at all. It never hurts to have back-up plans, and I hope you never have to use them.