Whoever originally said that one is the loneliest number has never waited on a falling beta. I did one more (sigh) blood draw this morning to see where my hcg was at currently, and it came back negative so I am officially back at zero. Despite waiting on this to happen for about two weeks now, there was a slight sting in getting the message and it hit me how badly I did not want to score so poorly. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Ouch.
I wanted to get the doctor's opinion on what we should do next and she recommended a frozen cycle. So a frozen cycle is what we will do and I hope that our three little ones on ice will make it to thaw, and ultimately, into our lives. I would gladly take all three. I no longer have a preference or ideal image of creating new life. That has all been removed (stolen rather) and I can be content with whatever is meant to be.
We will now wait so that I can have a period ('have' sounds so nice, doesn't it?) and then will start on the protocol for a frozen embryo transfer (FET). I know that I have said this before, but please, please, please let this be it.
11 comments:
I hope that it is it. I am so sorry for this pain that you are going through.
I am sorry more was stolen from you ... thinking of you
Glad you finally hit zero and can move on. I understand what it is like to have it sting though. I have heard some wonderful success stories with FET's, and I hope you are another.
Ugh, those #'s blow no matter how ready you are for them. Here's hoping the three make it through the thaw to give you options.
I'm so glad you're finally on to the next step. I will be cheering you and the 3 frosties along during this cycle!
A fresh start at 0 filled with pain. It just sucks. May your FET be the one, let the hope begin.
Please, please, please be it. I hope your FET goes well. You took the words out of my mouth- its all about stolen dreams.
I'm still so heartbroken for you. I just cannot believe it didn't work. I will be praying that this fet works for you.
I know what you mean about the sting of ZERO. I wanted to go back to normal but hearing it made it really sink in that my baby was gone. I was empty.
I am so sorry about your sadness. I hope peace finds you soon. XOXO
I've just found my way to your blog -- but my heart and thoughts are with you.
Pam
i'm so sorry you've had to endure this wait.
i'm wishing you lots and lots and lots of good thaw and sticky vibes.
-lori